Pretty Gifts

“What makes you think I want all your sacrifices?” says the Lord. “I am sick of your burnt offerings of rams and the fat of fattened cattle. I get no pleasure from the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.” Isaiah 1:11 NLT

As I was reading my devotional a couple of weeks ago, I started to feel a heat rising up in my heart. I started to sweat knowing that the Lord was speaking to me and it was not a pleasant joyous message, it was a correction. A conviction.

I had been very frustrated with the call to open a Christian bookstore. While I had dreamed of having one in our community, I was not prepared to open one myself. When I felt the Lord pressing this on my heart and received confirmation from several sisters in Christ, I knew that this is what the Lord was asking me to do and that I needed to step forward in bold faith.

The problem was I had experience in independent bricks and mortar retail and knew that it is a tough business model in today's get anything you want in any size, shape, and color oh and you can have it in two days and return it 30 days - later no questions asked! The financial investment, the required time, the accounting and system requirements, as well as all the other tedious details required seemed overwhelming and not worth the return on investment at least in the natural world and certainly not from a business perspective. Who buys books from a bookstore these days?

"Lord, are you sure this is what you are asking me to do"? I knew the answer, and so I was obedient in completing the task. But my heart posture, well that was another matter entirely and this is what the Lord was calling me to account for.

As I was reading Isaiah chapter 1 last week, it was very clear that the Lord was speaking to me, so I grabbed my notebook, and started journaling.

You are sick of my burnt offerings. You get no pleasure from the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. When I come to worship you, who asked me to parade through your courts with all my ceremony?

Oh boy, what are you saying to me Lord?

Stop bringing me meaningless gifts. Come now, let's settle this. Stop putting on the brakes of your heart, you know I love you and that I have good plans for you. Drop the pretense and let's get down to business. Purify your heart before Me. Surrender your heart on my altar. I desire your whole heart and not some of it. Will you give it to Me now, My precious daughter? I am waiting to bless you and to pour out My spirit on you. My grace is sufficient for you. Come to Me now and let's settle this once and for all.

All of this struck my heart like a arrow that hit the bullseye! and I knew it was 100% true. Yes, I had opened the store for Him. And yes it was a pretty gift. I was obedient. But my heart was far from offering this to Him From a place of love. It was more begrudgingly, I was sulking and a little bitter.  I was operating from a place of fear and lack of trust and quite honestly I was being selfish. I wanted to take it easy and wallow in the love of my own comfort zone. No wonder the store sales had been not what I was hoping for, no wonder He wasn't blessing it like I thought He would. Why would He when my heart posture was like that? I was grieved by the way I had conducted myself. My complaining, my grumbling and after all that He has done for me and all that He is. He is a Holy God Chris what is wrong with you I thought. How could I even begin to have a heart posture like this?

Well because I'm human, made of dust and like David said a worm. Thankfully, He knows all of that and what just amazes me is His fierce love for us. He has good plans for us and He doesn't want us to settle for nothing but His best for us. His will is always our best case scenario. His timing doesn't always line up with ours but it is always worth waiting.

His grace is beyond anything that I could ever imagine, and I was thirsty to receive it. I repented and wanted to do it all over, so I rededicated the store to Him as a wholehearted offering. A sacrifice that would hopefully be pleasing to Him because it was coming from a place of love, trust and devotion. 

Sin is sneaky. It creeps up on us and sometimes we don't even know that it is happening. But I love how the Lord reveals our sin to us just at the right time, when we are able receive it and to receive it in love. His grace is sufficient for us, His love never fails, and His mercies are new every morning.

No more pretty gifts, Lord I'm stepping forward with a heart posture of love, devotion and trust.