Selfishness: Dethroning “Me” and Following Jesus
- Illuminate the Truth
- Aug 14
- 3 min read
By Ashton McGraw & Chris Jaeger In The Light of Truth – A Podcast by Illuminate the Truth.
Welcome to In The Light of Truth, a podcast where biblical truth meets real life. Whether you’re new to the Bible or have studied it for years, this is a space for honest conversations about the struggles, joys, and peace we experience as followers of Christ. Walking with God isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. Let’s grow together in the light of truth.
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”— Philippians 2:3–4
Selfishness is a heart posture, not just a bad habit—placing my will above God’s will and my comfort above others’ good.
The root system often includes pride, fear, and the need for control.
Jesus is our pattern and power for selflessness (Phil 2:5–8).
Freedom starts with repentance, surrender, and small daily acts of love.
What Is Selfishness—Biblically?
At its core, selfishness is misordered love: loving self first, above God and neighbor (Matt 22:37–39). It shows up whenever we insist on my way, my timing, my preferences—even in “small” things at home, work, church, or with friends.
Biblical contrast:
Selfish ambition → disorder and hurt (James 3:16).
Christlike humility → unity, joy, and love (Phil 2:1–5).
Where Selfishness Hides (Root Issues)
Pride — I center the story on me. (“I know best.”)
Fear — I grasp for control to avoid uncertainty.
Unbelief — I functionally doubt God’s goodness and timing, so I push my own agenda.
A mentor once said: Fear fuels control; control feeds pride; pride births selfishness.
Ask: What am I afraid of losing? What am I trying to control? Where am I not trusting the Lord?
How It Shows Up (Everyday Examples)
Preferences: Insisting on your schedule, your restaurant, your TV show.
Convenience: Avoiding service when it costs comfort—dishes, diapers, errands.
Relationships: Demanding to be understood before seeking to understand.
Church life: Consuming, not contributing; criticizing, not building up.
Interruptions: Seeing delays only as obstacles, not as invitations from God.
Small moments reveal our loyalties. They’re also where transformation begins.
The Cost of Selfishness
It strains relationships. Self-first choices erode trust and intimacy.
It stunts growth. We miss what God wants to teach and do through us.
It dims our witness. A me-centered life conflicts with a Christ-centered message.
Jesus: The End of Self at the Center
Jesus didn’t demand His own way; He emptied Himself, took the form of a servant, and obeyed to the point of death—for us (Phil 2:5–8; Mark 10:45). The gospel is not “try harder to be selfless,” but receive the self-giving love of Christ and walk by the Spirit who forms His humility in us (Gal 5:22–23).
Heart-Check Questions
Whose will am I seeking—God’s or mine? (Luke 22:42)
Is love guiding this decision—or comfort/control?
How would humility serve the other person here?
What small “yes” to Jesus am I resisting right now?
A 7-Day Selflessness Practice
Pick one each day (or repeat one all week):
Go first in serving someone at home—unasked, unannounced.
Yield a preference (time, seat, parking spot, TV show) and do it cheerfully.
Practice interruptible love: When delayed, ask, “Lord, what are You doing here?”
Speak life: Give one sincere, specific encouragement.
Secret generosity: Meet a need without being seen (Matt 6:1–4).
Listen to understand: Ask two follow-up questions before offering your opinion.
Pray for “that person”: Bless the one who’s hardest for you to serve (Matt 5:44).
When You See Selfishness in Yourself
Good news: conviction isn’t condemnation—it’s an invitation.
Confess it plainly to the Lord (1 John 1:9).
Repent—turn from “my way” to His way in a concrete step today.
Make it right with anyone you’ve hurt; ask forgiveness.
Abide—remain in Jesus through Word, prayer, and community. His life produces His love.
Key Scriptures to Meditate On
Philippians 2:1–11 — The mind and humility of Christ
James 3:16–18 — Selfish ambition vs. wisdom from above
Romans 12:10 — Outdo one another in showing honor
Mark 10:45 — The Son of Man came to serve
Galatians 5:22–25 — Fruit of the Spirit and crucifying the flesh
A Prayer for a Selfless Heart
🎧 Listen to Episode 7: "Selfishness, exposing the danger of living for ourselves instead of Christ."
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