Healing the Places We’ve Learned to Hide

Allowing Jesus to uncover our unresolved pain, heal our hearts, and redeem our stories.

“Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, ‘How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.’”— 1 Samuel 1:13–14 (NIV)

Looking Beyond the Surface

Eli was a priest serving in the tabernacle at Shiloh. His sons did not know the Lord and violated the law by demanding portions of meat that were not rightfully theirs and by sleeping with women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting.

This must have been a devastating reality for Eli as a priest of God. Scripture tells us that although he rebuked his sons, he failed to restrain them or hold them accountable for their behavior.

Is it possible that Eli’s response to Hannah was influenced by his own unresolved pain and failures?

When God Begins to Reveal What’s Hidden

As I reflected on this passage, I realized that the Lord was speaking to me. What unresolved pain was He bringing to the surface? After praying about it, I felt strongly that He wanted to address my selfishness and tendency to isolate myself from others.

I have struggled with this for most of my life. I kept people at arm’s length, operating under an unspoken agreement: Don’t expect anything from me, and I won’t expect anything from you.

I didn’t want to get hurt, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone else, so I convinced myself it was better not to get too close in the first place.

I think this is one of the reasons I enjoyed working and building professional relationships. There were clear boundaries, and those boundaries felt safe to me.

For me, this pattern stemmed from a deep-rooted fear that had followed me for much of my life. I struggled to trust people because I had experienced hurt and violation. That fear created a fierce need to control my surroundings, my closest relationships, and the people in my life.

As a child, I struggled with OCD and anorexia. As an adult, I became fiercely self-reliant and prideful, convinced that I needed to depend on myself to be safe.

The Walls We Build to Protect Our Hearts

Over time, I built a wall around my heart that no one could penetrate, not even those closest to me. This affected every relationship in my life. Don’t get too close to me!

The thought of allowing someone into those vulnerable places felt unbearable, so I ran. I ran from my family, my marriages, my son, and even some friendships.

For a long time, I was content to live this way. I had convinced myself that distance was safer than vulnerability and that independence was better than the risk of being hurt. I didn’t fully recognize the cost of those choices until I met Jesus.

When Jesus Asks Us to Stop Running

He has been gently bringing me back to those painful places, asking me to let Him heal what I have spent so much of my life trying to protect. The truth is, this is hard work. There are still days when I want to run, and sometimes I even want to run from Him.

A couple of times, the Lord has given me a picture of a little girl running. It is almost like a cartoon: the little girl is running away, and then a big hand reaches down and gently pulls her back. I believe this is a picture of what He is doing in me. Even when I want to run, He lovingly draws me back to Himself.

This is deep work, and I am only beginning to heal. As I type these words, I feel tears welling up because of both the pain stirring deep within me and the fear that comes with letting go.

Yet, despite the fear, I want to be healed. I am willing to let the Lord do the work He desires to do in me. I don’t know how long this journey will take, but I am committed to it for the long haul.

I praise Him for His patience, His gentleness, and His unwavering love as He leads me toward healing.

Why Healing Matters

What I want others to understand is that healing matters. When we fail to confront our unresolved pain, unhealed wounds, and past failures, we can unknowingly project them onto others, judging in them what we have yet to acknowledge, confront, and surrender to Jesus.

The very things we refuse to address within ourselves can begin to shape how we see others, how we respond to them, and how we navigate our relationships.

Sometimes, what we criticize in others may reveal something within us that still needs attention. Our pain can influence our perceptions, our fears can dictate our responses, and our desire for self-protection can keep us from experiencing the very relationships God intends to use to help us grow.

This is not about condemning ourselves for our struggles. It is about becoming willing to let God shine His light into the places we have kept hidden.

Healing begins when we stop running, become honest about what is hurting, and invite Jesus into the places we have tried so hard to protect.

The Great Physician Wants to Make Us Whole

One of the many blessings of belonging to Jesus is that we do not have to carry the burden of healing alone. He does the heavy lifting, even though we must be willing to participate in the process.

He may use a counselor, a self-help book, medication, or the loving support of others as instruments in our healing. These resources do not diminish our faith; they can be part of the way He cares for us.

Jesus is our Healer, and He desires to make us whole. He invites us to bring Him the places we have hidden, the wounds we have protected, and the stories we have been afraid to face.

We do not have to pretend we are fine when we are hurting. We do not have to keep running from the things that frighten us. And we do not have to rely on our own strength to overcome what has held us captive for years. Thats where Jesus come in.

We can trust Him to walk with us through the difficult places, gently revealing what needs healing and giving us the courage to face it.

So let Him do what only the Great Physician can do: heal our hearts, restore what has been broken, and redeem our stories.

Lord, give us the courage to stop running, the humility to acknowledge our wounds, and the faith to trust You with the healing that only You can bring. In Jesus name, Amen.

Chris