Honesty in Friendship: How Truth in Love Points Us to Christ

By Ashton McGraw & Chris Jaeger In The Light of Truth – A Podcast by Illuminate the Truth.

Welcome to In The Light of Truth, a podcast where biblical truth meets real life. Whether you’re new to the Bible or have studied it for years, this is a space for honest conversations about the struggles, joys, and peace we experience as followers of Christ. Walking with God isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. Let’s grow together in the light of truth.

Honesty in Friendship

We’re Ashton McGraw and Chris Jaeger, and we’re with Illuminate the Truth, a Christian bookstore in downtown Fargo, North Dakota. In this episode, we’re talking about honesty in friendship — and what it really means to lovingly confront one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Why Talk About Confrontation?

Ashton: When we think about friendship, we often picture encouragement, laughter, maybe praying together — and those things are beautiful. But true Christian fellowship is deeper than just feeling good. Sometimes, love means having hard conversations.

We’re not talking about confronting strangers, random people online, or unbelievers. We mean the people you’re walking arm in arm with — your closest Christian friends.

Biblical Honesty in Friendship: Speaking the Truth in Love

Ashton: I love what Paul says in Ephesians 4:15: “Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.”

Speaking the truth in love — that’s the key. It’s not truth or love, it’s both together. Truth without love can crush someone. Love without truth can leave someone stuck in sin.

Chris’s Story: The Cost of Silence

Chris: I’ve seen both sides of this. I’ve had friends lovingly confront me about things I couldn’t see in myself — and it stung at first. But looking back, I’m so thankful. Their honesty kept me from walking deeper into sin or hurt.

But I’ve also experienced times when people didn’t say anything. They saw me blind to a sin that was not revealed to me yet, but they stayed silent because it felt safer and they didn't want to risk losing our friendship. And I get it — I’ve done the same even though we are called not to do so. It’s so much easier to avoid awkward conversations. But silence can be just as unloving as harsh words.

Check Your Heart First

Chris: Before we ever confront someone, we have to examine our own hearts. Why am I bringing this up? Am I angry? Bitter? Or am I genuinely concerned for their good and God’s glory?

Galatians 6:1–2 says, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

That word “gentleness” matters. We’re not called to attack each other — we’re called to restore.

Practical Example

Ashton: One time, a sister in Christ came to me and gently pointed out that I was hurting my witness. I was unknowingly sinning, she saw it, she brought it to light. She didn’t shame me, she didn't sugarcoat anything or beat around the bush. She just said, “Hey, I have something I need to talk to you about, it is probably going to be uncomfortable, but I love you and want you to grow in godliness.”

This conversation cut deep — but in the best way. It made me repent and move forward in freedom instead of staying stuck in the darkness of my sin.

Receiving Confrontation Well

Ashton: Being confronted is hard. Pride kicks in. Our first instinct is to defend ourselves, explain, or deflect. But Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

A true friend wounds in love — not to harm, but to heal. So when someone comes to you with a gentle, loving rebuke, pause. Pray. Ask, “God, is there truth here that I need to hear?”

Reflection: A Heart Check

Here are a few questions to help us reflect:

• Is there a hard conversation I’ve been avoiding with someone I love?

• Am I willing to speak truth even if it costs me comfort?

• If someone confronted me today, how would I respond?

• Do I make it safe for my friends to be honest with me?

• Am I quick to listen and slow to speak?

The Goal: Restoration and Growth

Chris: The goal is never to prove we’re right or to win an argument. It’s to help each other look more like Jesus. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is say, “I see this in you, and I love you too much to ignore it.”

Final Encouragement: Walk in the Light

Wherever you are — maybe you need courage to speak up, or humility to receive correction — remember this: Jesus calls us to walk in the light. Not alone, but together. Real community happens when we love each other enough to tell the truth — with gentleness, humility, and grace.

Let’s be friends who sharpen each other, not just flatter each other. Let’s carry each other’s burdens. Let’s speak the truth in love.

If you’ve been encouraged by this episode, we’d love to hear from you. Come visit us at Illuminate the Truth in downtown Fargo, or reach out online. We’d love to pray with you and help you grow in the light of truth.

Until next time — stay rooted in God’s Word, walk in love, and be the light.

🎧 Listen to Episode 3: "Honesty in Friendship—How Truth in Love points us to Christ" on your spotify. https://open.spotify.com/episode/67ufCwkCoBzmln6lA9fc1W?si=fke-vG2hQRWaPDvJ63WEdA

📍 Visit us in downtown Fargo: 21 8th St S Fargo, ND 58103

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